Happy Halloween! Whilst you likely won’t run into any real ghosts or goblins tonight, you will most certainly run into real asshole piece of shit douchebags.
Here are some tips to make sure you’re not a Halloween asshole.
1) Don’t do Blackface.
Blackface is a bad idea. Do not do it.
Want to dress like Lil Wayne? Cool. Don’t do blackface.
Thinking of going as Urkel because you remember the 90s? OK! Thinking of doing blackface because you remember the 1800s? A) You do not remember that time period. B) DO NOT DO BLACKFACE.
An ode to Tupac on Halloween? Sweet. An ode to blackface on Halloween? Very much not sweet.
2) Don’t do blackface if you are a high school football coach.
Serra High School varsity head coach Brian Basteyns and assistant coach Harold Seeley thought dressing up as the Jamaican bobsledding team was a good idea. Sounds like a pretty nice costume to me. Then they added blackface. Don’t do blackface.
3) Don’t do blackface if you’re a celebrity.
Dancer, Singer, Actress Julianne Hough wanted to dress up as "Orange Is the New Black" character Crazy Eyes. Great show! Great character! Sounds like a great idea. Julianne Hough did it in blackface, an absolute terrible atrocious stupid idea.
4) Friends don’t let friends do blackface.
Jeffree Star (middle), who is sort of an online music star wanted to gather his friends and go out dressed as the Spice Girls. Fantastic! …until the friend who gets to be Scary Spice showed up. Do not take pictures in, or with people in, blackface. Do not let your friends do blackface. Do not do blackface.
5) Don’t have a party where people do blackface.
Giampaolo Sgura hosted a fashion party called “Hallowood 2013: Disco Africa.” Many attendees saw this as an open invitation to paint their bodies black…
…and dress like slaves…
…and if you’re famed Italian fashion designer Allesandro Dell’Acqua “Disco Africa” was an open invitation to do “Minstel show” blackface. Don’t do Minstrel show blackface, don’t do blackface.
6) Don’t support your fans doing blackface.
Love the Utah Jazz? Fan of Karl Malone? That’s great. When dressing as him, don’t do blackface. And when running the social media account of an NBA basketball team, don’t support your fans doing blackface.
7) Be original and don’t go out as Kanye West and Kim Kardashian. And don’t do blackface.
You will run into many couples on Halloween who think they are original going out as Kanye and Kim. But if you are a couple who absolutely must, DO NOT DO BLACKFACE.
8) Do not fat shame little children.
A North Dakota woman is planning to hand out the above letter instead of candy on Halloween. Do not do this. Fat shaming a child on Halloween, a day most children absolutely adore, will only damage the poor kid. You will not help. You are only being a piece of shit. If you’d like, hand this letter only to people doing blackface.
9) Do not lynch a skeleton wearing an Obama shirt.
A skeleton is a valid Halloween decoration. A skeleton hanging by a noose from a tree is certainly taking it to the next level. A skeleton hanging by a noose from a tree while wearing an Obama t-shirt? George Vucelich, you are racist. (And you seem like someone who would likely find nothing wrong with blackface.)
10) Don’t attack Trick-or-Treat’ers with racial slurs. In person or on the Internet.
David Spondike is a high school teacher. He is also definitely a racist. (Also, reminder, as someone who seems like he might need one: don’t do blackface.)
11) Trayvon Martin is not a Halloween costume. Also, don’t do blackface.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a self-proclaimed comedian like Ryan Maher…
…or in a band like Jason Schwartz.
Trayvon Martin is not a Halloween costume. Don’t do it and don’t do blackface.
If you’re smart enough to not dress up as Trayvon Martin and do blackface for Halloween, also be smart enough to not say you did like Jamie on Twitter above did.
If you are wondering who the intelligent people in the picture above actually are…
…it’s William Filene dress as Trayvon, Greg Cimeno as George Zimmerman, and Caitlin Cimeno as “Robin Da Hood” (whatever that is.) Don’t be stupid. Don’t be a shit head. Don’t “dress up” as Trayvon Martin. Don’t do blackface. Don’t be racist.
12) Don’t be a racist. Don’t do blackface.
"I’m not racist! It’s just a costume!" is the cry you will likely hear from people doing blackface. Remeber, Caitlin Cemno from the Facebook screenshot above? She too probably doesn’t think blackface is racist.
Here is another one of her Facebook posts:
"The little girl is wearing a shirt that says ‘black girls rock’. First of all, sorry Hun but mommy lied to you & secondly if I was wearing a shirt that said something like the truth "white girl rock" I would be stared at and called a racist cracker."
If that’s not enough to convince you that blackface is racist, here’s a girl who wore blackface as her Halloween costume.
Or, as she called it, “nigger”:
Don’t be a racist. Don’t do blackface.
I received this in an email from Tumblr today, which reminded me…
One year ago today, while hunkered down, waiting for Hurricane Sandy to pass over New York City, I began the Public Shaming blog on Tumblr. It began with retweets on Twitter and needing a place to post screenshots of the tweets that were being deleted.
A year in and there is no shortage of assholes, sexists, racists, bigots, homophobes, privileged brats, scumbags, slime balls, losers, turds, and all around vile cretins to make a mockery of.
You can follow Public Shaming on Twitter: @publicshaming
You can ‘Like’ Public Shaming on Facebook: fb.com/PublicShaming
Thank you for following this Tumblr and sharing, reblogging and liking the posts.
(P.S. You can follow me on Twitter at @MattBinder)
Last night, in Game 4 of the World Series between the Boston Red Sox and St. Louis Cardinals, fans witnessed a game-ending…pickoff. Yes, how anticlimactic…but it is a first! Red Sox closer Koji Uehara caught Cardinals pinch-runner Kolten Wong and he was picked off at first base.
woah woah woah. Wait a minute…
Did you see those two names?
And as you’ve probably guessed by this point, the intelligentsia that is America’s sports fan had something to say FOREIGNERS playing America’s game.
Note #1: These tweets come from Boston and St. Louis fans alike.
Note #2: The Red Sox’s Koji Uehara is Japanese. The Cardinals’ Kolten Wong is…Hawaiian.
And now, it is time for…racist amateur comedy hour!
#asianjoke! So funny that you had to clarify it was a joke because you were worried you’d come off sounding racist.
P.S. You still sound like a racist!
haha. Word play and Jeopardy humor! So edgy and current.
haha. Do you get it now? His last name is Wong. It sounds like ‘wrong’!
If comedy performed by bigots isn’t your kind of humor, maybe you’ll enjoy racist dolts who tried to scrub their comments, but as you’ll see…were quite unsuccessful! Thanks to @BestFansStLouis on Twitter for pointing these ones out:
And now for some of the wonderful comments directed towards Koji Uehara. Remember, I said these tweets come from Boston and St. Louis fans alike…
Ah, “zipperhead.” What a lovely term of endearment for a human being you’re cheering for!
But, shockingly, perhaps none of these tweets are as astoundingly dumb as following Twitter comment thread from Turner over here…
Turner: “A-HA! He’s half Chinese! HA! MY BIGOTRY WAS (at least partially) CORRECT! Now, don’t YOU feel stupid now!”
Thankfully, the following person was a bit disturbed by all the hate directed towards people of Asian descent, so he spreads the hate out a bit…
Can’t wait for Game 5!